Monday.

seriously woke up feeling not very good.
i feel sad cause i cant make it for basketball again

but im seriously ill la.
i just got mc for work on saturday.

stomach very grouchy. ( is that how you spell ? )

i think i went to toilet twice in a row already -.-
wah i think im slimming down again, haix or yay ?

actually i came to realise life seems to be contradicting at times.
is there something we have to accomplish before we die ?
or we just live to die anyway.

maybe everything we accomplish turn to dust once we die,
then again, whats the meaning of life.
sometimes i wonder, whos the author to my life.

as far as i've known, im not the author,
i wldn't write such a tough life for myself, well that person sucks though.

my story will include me finding a gold mine one sudden day and get damn rich at the age of 14.
then i wld retire immediately.

or maybe the whole world revolves around only me.
its like everything still exist, humans have their thinking but i control them.

haha a little selfish, but its a dream anyway.

at least i finally understand whats the real meaning of happiness, sadness, angry or moody.
take a different approach and look at things this way.

happiness represents sugar, everybody likes it.
but nobody will eat sugar ; be happy, always.

happiness like sugar are not good for health if someone takes it too much.
maybe thats why nobody gets it all the time ?

or take it like sadness is a pinch of salt.
too much is unbearable but some is needed to keep things in place ?

being angry and moody spice things up a little ?

in another words, there wun be any one of them without one of them.
make sense ?

im obstinate, i demand happiness only.
one string difference between understanding and acknowledging.

this proves that im not cut out to become a buddha.
enlightment isnt a word for me, free thinking is my way.

i tasted sweet, sour and bitterness of life.
im done with it, im choosing to be numb.
i dunt mind starting all over again.

call me ivan, my age is one.